GGGrrrrRRrrrr~

i can't say it's unfair because superman has a 'job' and brings home the $. it's funny how he use to hint that i should get a job. but whenever the conversations turns to 'what about supergirl?' - of course our best conclusion was that i be a stay a home full time mommy. which by the way, i do immensely enjoy. it's wonderful to be here and by supergirl's side almost every second, and never miss a milestone. never. since her birth........ i've probably been 'away', away as in out of the house a total of 6 times. that's dinner with friend(s) and/or weddings/events. yup, half a dozen. the rest of the time, we always always bring supergirl with us. always. so that's how often supergirl and i get to enjoy each other's company. an avg of 359 days a year.

that being said, i love it. when superman comes home, depending on time and his mood, he and supergirl will play and i get some alone time to sip a cup of tea, read a book, check email. however, there are times when superman is super insensitive. and it's these times i feel he takes me and my time with supergirl for granted.

superman personally knows the attention and time he needs to devote to her when they are together. i mean, come on, she is the baby! we are the 'responsible' adults here. he'll be like he can't get this done, can't do this or that, cuz she's hanging around him or won't leave him alone. at times when i am super sensitive or just frustrated, i ask him well how do you think supergirl is when she's with me? the exact same way. and i deal with it, i take care of her because she is my super darling baby girl right?! there are times when she's so clingy she cries while i am sitting on the toilet trying to get the deed done! and i deal with lots of things such as that every single day. and i don't fall apart or complain or break.... albeit there are times, pmsing perhaps, when i might get a bit anxious and teary.

and now supergirl is getting super smart and sharp. it's as if her memory is a magnet. can't get away with nothing with her!! i try to instill some certain fair discipline rules. the thing is 'consistency.' and superman can't hardly support me at all. he's all soft and weak when it comes to his baby girl. the thing is supergirl knows this too!! so he has become her fall back person, she goes to her when things do not go her way with me. and he just scoops her up and as if all her naughtiness is forgiven.

it's hard.
i know i am rambling.
it's hard to find a medium.

but he needs to show supergirl he's on my side. but he doesn't do that- enough. i'm so frustrated.

no more mama's milk

it's been 9 days.
it wasn't a easy thing to do, but it's done.
we love supergirl.
love love supergirl.
i miss nursing her... very much.
i know she misses it too.
there are moments where she'll look into my eyes and ask boldly 'milk.'

supergirl was nursed for 15 months!!

the right time

i've read a few articles on the best time to wean. but really, there isn't one- when it feels right to mommy and baby... and daddy, then it is time. experts warned that it's best to wean when all other aspects of baby's life is normal (what is normal?) as in, you're not relocating, or baby's not ill, or just entering daycare, or teething or ... or a bunch anything that's can 'normally' go wrong that is not considered normal, and can make weaning 'more' difficult for baby.

well-- tough. it's tough...... cuz life keeps happening, it doesn't stop so you can wean your little darling.

we love supergirl soooooo much. words really would never do us justice. and as a mommy, i'm am positive you know exactly what i mean. we just moved into our new place, less than one month ago, it'll be one month in 2 days. the whole last week supergirl had roseola, high fever, followed with rashes. she's teething. she has 5 teeths just popping out. and it just felt like the perfect time to wean, she seemed ready, we seemed ready.....

so admist all this 'normal' chaos, we did it!
supergirl adjusted to this new home like she never left the old one! teething is uncomfortable for her, at sometimes more than others, but she's a trooper. she was clingy during her feverish days, so i just held her more and loved loved her more, as much as i can. and thru all this, her daytime nursing ceased... and now her nightime nursing ceased...

what a month to remember forever and ever.

i'm not saying our family have it hard. i believe this is just 'normal' for all parents'! we're just happy we've persevered, though it's tinted with some sadness.

is this it?

it's more overwhelming than i thought it would be. this whole weaning situation. it's so bittersweet, like something is coming to an end.... such as when you're reading a great novel and you don't want it to end, but there has to be an ending.... that's almost how i feel.

supergirl's appetite has increased by an incredible amt the past few days! she seems to be hungry constantly and always asking for food. which is a good thing we think. and last night, first night ever since her birth, she fell asleep without nursing. it's such a momentous moment when it dawned on me that my supergirl is done with my boobs! she's a big girl- she's totally ok with just eating solids. i'm sad. there was a moment before she fell asleep and she placed her hand on my chest and looked at me with those knowing eyes and asked for milk. it was so timid, and i just gave her a big hug and soon she was asleep. i'm so emotional.

once today, she placed her hand on my chest again and asked. i distracted her quite easily. is this it? the end? the end.

weaning part II

it's been 10 days since i've last posted. i've completely stopped nursing supergirl anytime during the day. (i do miss it!) i still nurse supergirl once before bed, but i've cut the time shorter. also, when she wakes during the night, most times obviously wanting to nurse, i will comfort her (i love her so much!) to sleep, without giving in to nursing her! so far it's working and i will keep at it and i guess there will just be that 'night' where i won't nurse her at all.

will that be the end? i'm feeling a bit nervous and sad.

i had engorgement discomfort for 3 days when i first started cutting out daytime nursing, but my body has adjusted. but whenever she nurse, there is still milk! i wonder if and when the day comes... what will happen to my boobs! =P

night.

weaning and winning

supergirl is growing up so fast. superdad and i just love her sososoosososososo much. we tell her we love her about a gazillion times a day. i kiss her just as much! she's just so adorable and so smart.

she's learning to feed herself and it's just adorable watching her do it! it is a messy ordeal. we do still feed her the majority of the time.

i've started weaning her..... and it's been much easier than anticipated. the first week, i was weak. she'll cry and cry for my milk and i just give in to her. i am exhausted though. she still wakes several times a night-- and she's 15 mos old! even with her eating solids, she just has a habit of waking 3-6 times A NIGHT and want my breastmilk. it's my own fault that i always give in to her, and mostly i'm exhausted and just want to feed her and she'll fall asleep. finally the last week, i've toughened up. i would only nurse her once during the day, and once at night before bed. (she usually falls asleep nursing.) she still cries sometimes and superman has been kinda non-supportive cuz he can't stand to hear her cry! but it worked. supergirl is just so smart and quick learner, and seems to understand that mommy wants to slowly stop nursing her. (kinda breaks my heart.) she no longer sticks her hand down my shirt and cry for milk! or whine until i'll nurse her. we've been more alert to her hunger pangs. we'll give her cereal and milk whenever we feel she's hungry and it's working... so far. today is the third day with NO NURSING at all during the daytime! usually she'll want to nurse before her daily nap. but now... she'll just roll around in bed, and perhaps wants me to hold her or rock her, but she won't beg or cry for my milk! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.....................

i still nurse her once per night. for the past 3 morns, she woke at 7am crying because she is hungry. we just give her warm milk in her sippy cup and she likes it!!! and she'll play a bit and go back to sleep.

so...... i'm thinking this is a success story by any means.
i've been nursing supergirl since birth... and it's been A LONG YEAR and some weeks........ but i enjoyed it so much too. i've read that weaning is just as hard on the mother..... and i agree. i miss it sometimes. i miss that 'kind' of bonding we share. i'm believing it's actually harder for me to let go than supergirl. albeit, i look fwd to sleeping thru the night.......

$5 huggies coupons

we've always used the kirkland baby wipes. for the quantity/cost ratio, they're a great deal, especially when costco mail us coupons for an additonal amt off. we were just about to go buy another huge box... when i found out about the $5 huggies coupons! i've always prefered kirkland wipes over huggies because huggies tear. they are super soft and gentle but tears just like a regular tissue would, and the kirkland wipes doesn't tear. that was the biggest difference for us, not to mention huggies wipes are more expensive in general.

however, with the coupon..... we were about to get a bag of 184 wipes for only 99cents! what a deal. you can only use the coupon on huggies gentle care products and that's the wipes we purchased. and oh my!- they are soososoooo soft and gentle. can even use on the face. and yes... they are still more fragile than kirkland wipes, but we find this time around that they are pretty thick and quite sturdy. so we're happy!

what a deal!